The Derby Dead Pool

The online competition to guess which famous people won't make it to the end of the current year. If they're elderly, ill, or just live a high-risk lifestyle, stick 'em in your team, and for each one whose death you correctly predict, you'll score points. DDP was dreamt up in Derby, England (hence the name...) by Big Iain back in 1996, then was run from 2003 to 2007 by Siegfried Baboon and Rude Kid From 2008 to 2009, it was run by Octopus of Odstock , and from 2010 to 2017 by The Man In Black. From 2018, Spade Cooley is host...

Latest Stiffs: 22nd September 2018 by Spade Cooley

Presumably he'll be buried cock up...

why the long pause?

It... was... the... great... American... entrepreneur... John... Earl... Shoaff... who... once... said... immortality... is... a... fate... worse... than... death. Bearing... that... in... mind... (adjusts glasses) this... next... delightful...deluge... of... deceased... darlings... will... live... long... in... the... memory.

The king of the clipboard, the man who became a cornerstone of Saturday night TV for 25 years simply by talking slowly before showing bloopers, Denis Norden is no longer. He was more than a smirking pause machine though – Norden, along with his good friend Eric Sykes, was one of the first soldiers into Belsen after its liberation. And along with long-term writing partner Frank Muir he wrote some of the most beloved British comedy of the 50s and 60s – including the iconic “infamy, infamy, they’ve all got it in for me” line from “Carry On Screaming”. But it’s as the host of “It’ll Be Alright On The Night” that he became a doyen of British TV, and an essential impression to have in your repertoire. Macular degeneration meant he wasn’t seen much in recent years, despite still contributing to radio shows and documentaries. And now, aged 96, we have a definitive answer to what's in the box – it’s Denis. 34 teams get the points and Nord becomes the tenth casualty from this year’s Drop 40. My word!

Staying with the “Carry On Screaming” cast, Fenella Fielding has gone up in smoke for a second time. A highly regarded stage actress who captivated Federico Fellini, she was unable to work for the Italian perv due to contractual obligations. Instead she had a career on British screen and TV: “The Prisoner”, “Uncle Jack” and, most famously, as the vampish Valeria in the Carry On gang’s Hammer Horrors spoof. Returning to the public eye in recent years after a fallow period, she worked up until being waylaid by a stroke early this year and has now died aged 90. Three teams get the points.

One of the great “he’s still alive?” names of British acting... isn’t anymore. Dudley Sutton was just a few years too late to be the definitive Angry Young Man actor – he did take the lead role in the first production of “Entertaining Mr. Sloane” and also played a gay biker in 1964’s “The Leather Boys”, both taboo-busting roles. However, despite his hardcore acting chops he was most famous as the jovial gin-soaked Tinker in 1980s light comedy “Lovejoy”, who shared gentle quips with the titular leather-coated antiques dealer. He’s now died aged 85 and was a unique hit for theme team From Z-Cars to Dead Stars?

gertcha!

Chas Hodges, of Chas and Dave fame – he was the fat one with the glasses – has put his beer on the sideboard for the final time. Chas and Dave’s brand of “rockney” – a weird mixture of boogie-woogie piano with 19th century music hall – was incomprehensible to anyone outside the M25, but saw them much loved down in That London. Whether they were doing FA Cup songs for Spurs, recording the only top 10 single celebrating the glory of snooker or working as session musicians – the sample on Eminem’s “My Name Is” is an early example of the duo’s work – they dropped their aitches proudly. Chas had been in ill-health for several years, retiring and unretiring from music accordingly, but has now gone down to Margate permanently aged 74. Three teams get the points.

Oscar-winning cinematographer Ronnie Taylor is no more. Taylor was best known for his collaborations with Dario Argento and Richard Attenborough, and took the academy award for “Gandhi”. A sixty-year industry veteran, he retired to Spain in 2002, where he has now died aged 93. His obituary took a while to come through, but he’s now a unique hit for ...and It’s Goodnight From Him. Speaking of theme teams, the league table has been update. Heef’s Politics XX look locked for the title.

Kulsoom Nawaz Sharif was a three-time first lady of Pakistan, thanks to the country’s love-hate affair with her hubby Nawaz Sharif. The grand-daughter of professional wrestler The Great Gama, Nawaz Sharif was a vocal opponent of Pervez Musharraf (whose 1999 coup ended her second run as first lady) and in 2017 was elected to parliament for the first time. However she didn’t take her seat due to being diagnosed with lymphoma, which she has now died from aged 68. Cancel My Appointments get the unique hit.

One of the classier picks in this year’s DDP, David DiChiera was a composer whose work with the Michigan Opera Theatre was an integral part of the cultural revival of Detroit. Because you can’t just listen to Insane Clown Posse and the fat lad from D12 all the time. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in April 2017 and dropped the baton 17 months later, aged 83. DiChiera was a unique hit for Going Underground, who climb into the top 30 as a result.

Latest Stiffs: 9th September 2018 by Spade Cooley

Turd Ferguson finally gets flushed away...

its a reynolds wrap

Stroker Ace is in the hole. Burt Reynolds was at one point the biggest star in Hollywood, his turn-of-the-80s moustache and chest rug combo defining masculinity on the big screen. However, a maverick both on and off the screen, he turned down some of the biggest roles in movie history to take projects – often terrible – that he saw as more fun. If he’d been more committed to the money than the girls, he would have played James Bond, Han Solo and Michael Corleone. Instead, he played opposite a child policeman in 1993’s “Cop & ½”.

His body of work is still impressive, however: “Deliverance”, “Smokey and the Bandit”, “Cannonball Run” and “Boogie Nights” (a film he hated) show a respectable range and it’s really no coincidence his final major role was as a thinly-disguised version of himself in 2017’s “The Last Movie Star”, opposite Ariel Winter’s tits. He was the last movie star, a man who truly did not give a shit and refused to become part of the Hollywood machine. Suffering from ill health for decades, triggered by a painkiller addiction, deadpoolers knew he had a long way to go and a short time to get there. A major heart attack finally put that hammer down and gave him hell aged 82, and 26 teams score.

The character of Servalan in “Blake’s Seven” was originally meant to be a one-episode deal. However, actress Jacqueline Pearce brought so much glamour to the role that she was brought back repeatedly and ended up becoming the show’s main villain. She also helped a number of teenage boys in the 1970s have their first big boy dreams. Outside of “Blake’s Seven” she was also a regular in the expanded Doctor Who universe and played one of a young Kate Winslet’s teachers in cult early 90s kids’ show “Dark Season”. Diagnosed with lung cancer in mid-2018, it took her out quicker than (insert sci-fi pun) and she died aged 74. Grim Reaper, we're needed get the unique hit.

Conway Savage was a regular member of assorted Australian post-punk musicians throughout the 1980s. However, it was on joining the Bad Seeds in 1990 that he found true fame, becoming the piano backing for some of Nick Cave’s most famous songs. He was absent from the Bad Seeds’ 2017 tour due to a brain tumour, which has now claimed his life aged 58. Theme team Going Down in Down Under knew Conway was heading for the mercy seat, and they get the unique hit.

Vanessa Marquez was a minor actress who played nurse Wendy Goodman in the first three seasons of “ER”. She later developed numerous mental illnesses, appearing on an episode of addiction reality show “Intervention” and claiming George Clooney blackmailed her from the industry in 1997. Because, at the time, the star of “The Peacemaker” would have had that clout. She came public with those allegations last year, also revealing she had a terminal illness. However, she instead died in that most American of ways – being shot dead by a policeman for no identifiable reason. She was 49 and a unique hit for Hippoposthumous.

mccain's had his chips

The word that appeared in nearly every John McCain obituary was “maverick”. A man who worked across party lines to tackle campaign finance reform, a man who was tortured by the Vietnamese for six years but worked to improve relationships with the country, a man who picked Sarah Palin as his running mate for the 2008 elections despite her being as thick as a Filipino girl’s thighs. He had successfully beaten skin cancer in 2000, but a 2017 brain cancer diagnosis was always going to be too much for an 81-year-old. His final months and subsequent funeral served as some of the most sustained winding up of a sitting president ln living memory. Unsurprisingly he was a very popular pick this year, and as such his death does little to the standings – indeed, the highest ranked team not to select him is in 29th position. He was the 9th hit from this year’s Drop 40 and the most-selected hit so far, with 119 teams getting this POW right in the kisser.

She coulda been a contender… Rachael Bland was just another minor BBC journalist with breast cancer back in 2017, and as such didn’t really set too many pulses racing among DDP veterans. However, early in 2018 she announced the cancer was now terminal, and all of a sudden we were heavily invested in the ongoing health patterns of a Radio 5 Live newsreader. She doesn’t make the starting line for 2019 however, and has died aged 40. Only one team gets the points: White City theme team BBC Heaven.

Liz Fraser is dead. No, not the ethereal Cocteau Twin, but rather the ever-trusty “dolly bird” actress from 1960s British movies. Fraser’s first major role was as Peter Sellers’ daughter in 1959’s “I’m All Right, Jack”. She was one of the original Carry On starlets as well, but was dropped from the franchise in 1963 after criticising their content in press interviews. She went on to star in a variety of British TV and film in minor roles, including as Pike’s mother in the “Dad’s Army” movie. She died aged 88 and was a unique hit for Grim Reaper, we're needed.

The mother of #1 projected 2017 DDP draft pick AA Gill has joined the miserable cunt in the afterlife. Yvonne Gilan was a character actress whose role in the TV pantheon will forever be as Mme. Peignor in the “Wedding Party” episode of “Fawlty Towers”, a Frenchwoman straight out of the 1970s sitcom playbook who slept in the nude and for some reason wanted to ravage the lanky hotel-owner. Gilan actually died back in June 2018, but for some reason Wikipedia refused to accept this fact and only know, with the belated publishing of her obituary in The Guardian, have they crossed her off the list of living people. Gilan was 86 and a unique hit for From Z-Cars to Dead Stars?

simon stays

Early in his career, Neil Simon was one of the legendary murders’ row in the script room for Sid Caesar’s “Your Show of Shows”, arguably the finest collection of comedy writers ever assembled in one place (alongside Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner, Woody Allen, Joseph Stein, Selma Diamond and many many more). He graduated to the stage, and on the first night of his debut play, “Come Blow Your Horn”, one audience member died from laughing too much. His work never left Broadway, from the autobiographical “Biloxi Blues” to “The Odd Couple”, which Simon originally envisioned as a depressing piece of anti-comedy that soon blossomed into slapstick fame through numerous stage, screen and cartoon reimaginings. He had suffered from Alzheimer’s in recent years and a bout of pneumonia saw him take his final bow aged 91. Four teams claim the points.

Sitcom mainstay Bill Daily, who entertained US TV audiences for some 50 years. Originally a jazz bassist, he graduated to television and earned himself minor roles on 60s institutions like “Bewitched and “My Mother the Car”. However, it was as a sidekick to Larry Hagman on “I Dream of Genie” and Bob Newhart on “The Bob Newhart Show” that he’ll forever be remembered. He retired from TV in 1997, only to return for a solitary appearance in the 2011 comedy “Horrorween” starring Jenna Jameson, former WWE diva Candice Michelle and some guy called Donald Trump. Daily died just a week after his 91st birthday and was a hit for three teams.

The last major figure from the golden age of the European circus, Rosa Bouglione, has died. She was widely seen as the “Queen of the Big Top”, having grown from a teenage ingenue who danced with snakes in lion cages through to the undisputed doyenne of the Bouglione circus, founded by her husband Joseph in 1934. However the circus has now left town aged 107, giving One Century Is Enough, Madam! a unique hit.

And to wrap it all up, another old-ass person finally dying. Olive Boar became Britain’s oldest person earlier this year on the passing of Bessie Camm. Boar shied award from the spotlight, so we don’t have any funny anecdotes to end this week’s round-up with. She lived most of her life in Suffolk and didn’t like electronic washing machines. That’s it. She was 113 and a unique hit for The Old Ones are the Pests. The title of Britain’s oldest person now passes onto 111-year-old Scouser Grace Catherine Jones.

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List of the Missed - Latest Entrants

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Latest News

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Further Information

Rules & Scoring

E-mail Spade Cooley with any questions/comments about the DDP: ddp2018@derbydeadpool.co.uk

Links

Derby Dead Pool is hosted by The Man In Black with contributions from Big-Iain, Rude Kid, Siegfried Baboon, Octopus of Odstock, WEP 2.0 - World's Eternity Prophet Reloaded, The Grey Horde, Thomas Jefferson Survives, Bibliogryphon, David Quantick's Showbiz Pals, Dickie's Gone the Way of the Dinosaurs & The End Of The World As We Know It